Dear Rude,

My current girlfriend and ex husband both have different views on how
to raise children. My girlfriend and I have been together since my son was
born and has been helping me raise him for 6 years now. My ex on the other hand thinks that she has no right to raise his son.

What do you think?

A Confused Mother, MD

Hey Confused Mother,

I can totally see where this will become a problem.

I think in this situation you have to take a step back and analyze the situation with no feelings involved.

Who is the primary care for your son? Is the father there or does he just feel he has the right to talk crap because his penis contributed to the creation of your son? Either way at some point he has to understand that she, your girlfriend, is apart of his sons life and you and her are together. There isn’t a thing in the world that he can do about that. There has to be some level of respect. There has to be understanding.

I think you need to sit them both down and explain to him that this is a situation that everyone has to learn to deal with as adults. Figure out what exactly is it that he has a problem with and if it is something that is NOT childish than try to find a way to make a change. If his issue is simply that she’s a woman explain to him that he is sh-t out of luck, as respectfully as possible of course!

Some men only have a problem with situations like this because it’s a woman involved. Some wouldn’t have the balls to have anything to say if it were a male in the equation so don’t let him overstep his boundaries because he has a sack between his legs. As long as you don’t have your son calling someone else Daddy I don’t see what his issue could possibly be. This is the family dynamic now and after 6 years you all should be beyond this. I believe the flaw is with the communication possibly. So try the sit down and see where things go.

I’d love to hear the outcome so do keep in touch!

<3

Rude