So he can’t believe you’re single and wants to know why, huh?!

So you’ve caught his eye, had a brief convo; brief enough but long enough to spark some interest. You’re both willing to get to know each other more and exchange numbers. Now what? Of course the waiting game occurs. Who will contact who first? Then, once that first call or text occurs it’s a smooth ride from there.  Next,  all of sudden…SCREEEECHHHHH. Pump the brakes!! He asks you Why are you single? or says I can’t believe you’re single.

Whether it’s verbally or written, the connotation is still the same. There’s this little thought in the back of his head that something must be wrong with HER! Something’s wrong because there is noooooo way possible that he loves what he sees and likes what she says; beauty and brains??!!! “ZOMG”!  Meanwhile ladies, we’re thinking if he’s so concerned; what is he going to do to change it?

Being asked the reason/reasons for why I am single and being told that its unbelivable is what has influenced me to write about it.  My thinking is this: If you’re pursuing me, I spark your interest and you want to know why I am single; then go about it in a different manner. Ask: “What ended your last relationship?” not WHY ARE YOU SINGLE…as if it’s a crime lol.

I took my question to Instagram to get some insight.  I asked men what was the exact response that they were in search of when asking females why they are single and why they can’t believe it.  Here’s what was said:

@kahree411 said: “Are you single?: I ask a female that because me personally…I don’t like stepping on people’s toes.  Another reason is if shawty is single that means that there is more potential for the friendship/relationship to go somewhere.  You can’t build nothing wth someone who already is involved in a relationship”.   The reason he tells a woman that he can’t believe they’re single: “I probably say that if shawty is super bad; physique and facial wise and I also might say that because sometimes you’re in disbelief when you run across a quality lady.  You know she’s doing great professionally, educationally, and/or intellectually but for some reason she’s single. I wonder and ponder how a man could let her slip thru his fingers or maybe shawty might be a lil wacky lol ;-)”. 

@mobstalive1s who completely overlooked my question lol said: “Man I’m single cause I love bad b****es I gotta f* problem”  I had to let him know that he answered the wrong question lol. So while he still didn’t correctly answer the posed question he did give some insight on his belief for why women are single. “Oh you girls are single because you get with weirdos that put on a front then ain’t s**t.  They are not a gentleman, they are fake, they probably have muscles for no reason and they are complete assholes. If they didn’t introduce you to their parents then there’s something wrong with that too”.

@smokeyvoiceguy said: “The reason why I ask are you single is to have an awareness of potential progress with a woman. The reason why I say I can’t believe you’re single is to gage as to why she’s single because it can be many reasons why”. He went even further to explain the astonishment factor that men have when finding a woman surprisingly single. “I think in some cases the astonishment can be because a woman of value being single is like, Whoa! I actually have a shot, let me use it wisely”.

I’d say overall the men gave some valuable explanations. @kahree411 provided the deep thoughts of a man, @mobstalive1s came through with the straight up thoughts of why women are single, and @smokeyvoiceguy sealed the deal with the mature sounded mind of a man.

Now on the flipside, I asked the women of Instagram to give their thoughts on what they think men are really trying to discover when they ask why women are single and when they can’t believe it. Here’s what the females said:

@jennifer_unplugged said: “Men assume that just because a good looking, successful woman is single that a)there’s something wrong with her;cr-zy b) she’s stuck up c) there is something missing sexually with her.  Yes, sometimes those things are true, however other times some women are content with being single until someone worth their time comes along”.

@jaylecia said: “Hmm tough one….maybe because a man wants the woman for himself, there can be various reasons”.

Overall, I’d say @jennifer_unplugged hit it right on the head. She described what I like to call “Men’s thought of the worst because they have fear of the best”. They ask the question with thoughts of the worst response possible because catching something perfect…is too good to be true.

Do they really want  the whole story? Prepare to take notes… I’m single because the last man was an asshole and here are the reasons from 1 to infinity! Lol

Photo Credit : Hello Beatiful