Is it necessary to be ‘openly’ gay on social media?

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and this interesting topic came up. She was talking about dealing with a woman who didn’t believe she was gay because she was not open about it on social media. My answer to my friend was : that is your cue to leave the girl alone. But I thought about it for a minute. Is it necessary to be openly gay on social media?

My friend is a private person. Her sexual preference is not displayed on her Facebook. You will never see her speak on her dating life online. It is no secret that she is a lesbian to her family and friends. And if you ask her, she’ll tell you. Her theory is she just rather not put it on public display. A lot of people get caught up in someone’s sexual identity. At the end of the day, my friend just doesn’t want to be only remembered or defined by who she decides to love.

And I get it.

I feel we live in a society now where you can be more transparent about your sexuality because of the major strides LGBTQ advocates have made. On the other hand, I do feel people use their sexuality for attention. “Look at me, I’m gay”. Every other post is about being gay to the point I always want to SCREAM on their post “is there anything else about yourself that you would like for the world to know? I’m just saying.”

On the brighter side though there are the ones who use their sexuality as inspiration for those struggling with their own identity. They use their story to help others, and I applaud them.

In my friend’s case, she supports gay events. Always talks about gay things. She just chooses not to share her sexual preference with the online world. And no, she doesn’t have anything to hide.

On my profile I do share my sexual preference (lesbian) to my family and friends. And really, that’s about the only indication that I’m a lesbian that you’ll get out of me online about it. Well besides this post right here and my other one lol.  So I guess my friend and I are one in the same except my preference is available for you to see on Facebook. I feel like to each its own. I call my friend the “Queen Latifah”. I’m not going to explain that one, but if you dig deep you’ll understand why I said that.

I guess because my friend never openly talks about being gay online, the woman she was talking to assumed my friend was hiding something.  The woman is an open gay who is not afraid to show her sexuality anywhere. I applaud her freedom of expression. We should be free to express who we are without fault.

But I know a lot of people my age late 20s and older, who just choose not to share in that experience. It doesn’t mean they are less proud or hiding anything.

And it certainly doesn’t mean they are not gay.

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